What Am I Supposed to Do?

My sister is officially insane. Mildly insane, but insane nonetheless. My husband believed that she could get over this. I am ashamed to say that I don’t have much faith in that sentiments.

She was admitted to a mental facility. She stayed there for three days. I felt she was released too soon. It’s partly my husband’s help. My sister mentioned taking in some medication, and therefore it was only an episode induced by taking too much of the drug.

I picked her up, I didn’t really want to. I feel so bad for not wanting to, but I did, and got her home from the hospital. She was too manic in her manners. We would talk like usual, and then she’ll laugh loud and over the top, she is scaring me. I didn’t say anything to her. I tried to make her feel better and that a fews days in the mental hospital is no biggie.

I shielded her child from her mental breakdown. I have him stay near me. But as of two nights ago, I had to make another arrangement for him. He has this habbit of grabbing my sons by the crotch, and feeling their butts. That did not sit right with me. I do not know why my little sister has exposed her child to, but I will not have my children’s private parts grabbed by anyone. I don’t know if it will have lasting effects, but I would rather err in the side of caution. I am very selfish that I want my children to grow up normal with as little trauma as possible.

I might still have to watch him from time to time, but my husband and I are hoping that with his time away, he will behave much better than when he’s getting so comfortable. I have never have that happen in my house before where my boys would grab their sibblings penis, and pat their butts a lot. Does it sound as weird as I feel it is?

I talked to my mother and she told me that my sister is getting antsy about getting out of the hospital. We brought her in again four days after she got out of the other one because she wasn’t sleeping again. Everytime she doesn’t sleep, she accuses everyone of imprisoning her. This from a girl who comes and goes as she pleases, and sees whomever she pleases, and sleep with whomever she feels like. Actually, it pleases her to sleep with her first husband, the one she left behind because he was raping her.

Did I miss something? Why is she seeing him again if he was raping her during marriage the first time around? His mother treated my sister like a trash. The mother said that to my sister’s face. I guess she couldn’t handle the rejection on top of everything else, she has finally lost her hold on reality.

My sister is not all bad. Even as messed up as she is, she made sure her child is taken care of as best as she could.  She still insisted on getting food for everybody, which worries me because I felt she should save her money for future needs. She would always reply, “No one takes their money to the grave.” She’s damned generous to a fault!

I don’t know what made her this way now. Was there an event in her life where brought her to this juncture of her life. Was it my aunt who beats her  while she was sleeping because my sister has peed on the couch she was napping. My sister is only two years old. What kind of person does that? My aunt single-handedly terrorized my sister as a child. Why did my mother keep “loaning” her to my aunt?

Was it my cousin copping a feel from her when she was 9-ish, and when she told the grown-ups, she was ridiculed?

Was it the boyfriend my mother “borrowed” money form? This boyfriend would have sex with my sister while holding a gun to her head.

Was it her first husband who would have sex with her even when she says no, and mensturating?

Was it her second husband, whom she told me, would insist on having sex every day?

Why are all these things happened to her? What has she ever done to deserve so much punishment in life? Weren’t those events enough, does she have to lose her mind too?

I am dreading the moment she gets out of this second hospital too soon. I am afraid if she talked her way out of this, and have another breakdown, she might never ever recover.

I am also mad that she didn’t leave her child with me when her life is unsteady. I don’t know what he has been exposed to that he would grabbed my little boy’s genitals. Mad that I now have to make decissions and have to choose my children over him because I have to protect my children from this.

What should I do?

2 Responses to What Am I Supposed to Do?

  1. mayuko says:

    I feel it necessary to comment since there are mental issues surrounding our mother, actually.

    Certain fears, phobias, and erratic ideas that people are after her have been forcing her these past years into isolation and being ostracized because what she says is just completely crazy.

    I admire your will and respect in helping your sister out. That is commendable, but somehow, the actions of your what your nephew is doing at his young age is questionable and not normal (I use to work with grade school children). I say trust your instincts and feelings about this, because despite what is currently happening with your sister, your own children are important too. And who knows what anything has been exposed……

    Do what you feel is right and trust your instincts…..don’t doubt them.

    Good luck!!

  2. tofubaby says:

    I believe there’s nothing wrong on wanting the best for your child. But how sad it is for your nephew. Who will “correct” his behaviour? As you have said, he is only just a child with bad leadership examples at home. Weird as it may seems, perhaps he thinks its ok to do such thing. As you have said, it became a habit that needed correcting.

    Your sister endured all of that? Wow. She’s a strong one, she just doesn’t realize it. But I think so too that she needs help from a professional and from you too. She needs your support more than anything and from your parents if possible.

    Perhaps you could talk to her one on one and express your love to her. Let her know that you support her and that you are there for her. I know you love your sister. I would the same if she were mine.

    Past is past. It already happened. We cannot change it nor we can erase it. What we can do is pick up the pieces and go on with our life and learn from the mistakes of life.

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