Horny

As I get older, people told me that I should get more horny. I don’t think it’s true. You know why? It’s because when I turned 32, I can live without sex. In fact, sometimes, while having sex, I get this rush of anger why I have to be on my back, splayed with a penis intruding me.

That’s a disturbing thought since before I was in my 30s, all I think about is sex and having a cock planted in my pussy. I’d get wet and bring myself on the brink of orgasm by just crossing my legs.

Now, I have to work at being turned on, by a real cock or a fake one. Am I alone in this? Should I take a female version of viagra? Because, sure as hell, I’m not getting it up often enough.

At Odds

These last few days, my husband and I feel like we’re at odds. I can’t quite point it, but it’s like I can feel this subliminal message he’s broadcasting. He’s not so happy with me. I might just be reading him wrong, but there it is.

I was actually annoyed with him on Thursday because he choose to exclude himself from a group activity we both signed on. I also wanted him to have fun, but he was so critical. He had so many complaints about the class. He dragged his feet so much, we were late 20 minutes to a one-hour class.

I have a happy marriage. It’s a long one. Sometimes, I feel that we have only this happy marriage because I bit my tongue. A lot! When I am mad at him for something, it will take me days and days to say anything. Underneath it all, I am always hoping that it will just go away. Most of the time it does.

However, I have noticed lately this feeling I have. When we’re at odds like this, not because we quarrel, but just because of a feeling…I have this urge to run. I just want to be away from him for a while. Not even because I want to be with somebody else. I just don’t want to be around him.

Love Is a Myth?

When I am angry, I do not think I have love in my heart. I have hate.

For example, when I have a damn busy day doing all the work which my husband was supposed to do, on top of dealing with sometimes very bratty kids, and then I forgot to write paycheck because I was dealing with all other crap, and then I get a phone from said husband acting all put out because I did not remember….

Why the fuck didn’t he write the check himself between watching TV, and demanding me to rub his head? Dick head! I am so damned tired of feeling guilty because I worry something might have happened to him, guilty again because his royal assness is unhappy he forgot about the paycheck…

Why do I have to remember everything around here. Why can’t he use part of his brain to remember something related to his job? Maybe he should talk less about religion he was never really serious about keeping in the first place and start thinking more about things like paycheck. And he couldn’t be bothered to drive through the bank to deposit a check?

I am not even going to rant about not having orgasm anymore. It’s always about him. I said I do not mind, well, yeah, I didn’t mind when I thought it was going to be only 5 times out of 6 I wouldn’t get orgasm, it turns out that I am not going to get any at all. WTF! I need orgasm too…and I would really prefer to have sex in which all the dick pumping doesn’t end up in a 3 second orgasm. Oh, BTW, if I want orgasm, I should make him cum once and then work again to make sure he cums that much slower the second time. Like I have all the time in the world between doing all his laundry? I have never seen a person generate 6 pairs of dirty clothes after he had shower, sit and watch TV and went to bed. Seriously! I think I am being too nice. If I had started out this marriage bitchy in the beginning, then maybe, just maybe I wouldn’t end up doing all the drudgery work around the house. Fuck that!

Fuck wordpress too for not spell checking…so now I have bad grammar on top of bad spellling!