Childrens Lie

I have noticed, and it bothers me a lot.. My children lie. They lie straight face.

I have tried to make my husband noticed it before, and he thought it is cute. Cute to have the children attempt to lie. Then last night, our child lied to him about finishing her homework at 5 PM. She lied again about going to bed at 9 PM. This bothered him so much, he hasn’t really paid much attention to the child all day.

I thought lies come up when children are afraid of punishment. We don’t punish our children though. True, we’ll make them finished homework if they haven’t, but somehow, I don’t think that’s grounds for lying to us.

I just don’t understand it. I used to lie as a child. But it has to do with trying to avoid spanking. If there’s no consequence, I never lie, unless I didn’t want my mother to spank me for wanting to go to a birthday party.

I had heard from my mother-in-law that my husband as a child is very moral and will not lie. I am skeptical. But then again, I’m just a skeptical sort.

lies, children lie

I am So Tired of Being Angry

I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I just got so mad with my dirty floor, I screamed at my kids. They’re still babies. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I don’t like to be angry. It makes me ineffective as a mother, and very disorganized as a person. When I am angry, I can’t keep up with mopping floor, cleaning toilets, washing dishes, and keeping everyone’s clothes washed and folded.

I feel horrible when sometimes, I wished I married a rich man, rich enough to hire a maid so I can just enjoy my kids without being so tired from cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.

angry, frustration, motherhood

Anger Management

I can feel myself getting angrier by the second. I don’t like angry people. When my husband is angry, I do not like to be around him. When he’s loud angry, I especially wanted to be anywhere but near him.

I can only imagine that when I am ranting, screaming mad, and sarcastic, ridiculing angry person, I wouldn’t want to be around me. It creeps on my so suddenly, I just want to bite people’s head off. I say mean things when I am angry.

I do not like the angry me. I want to be away from the angry me. I have made a deal with myself that when I am angry, I will just go to my quiet corner and give myself a time-out.

So, the floor is dirty again. So, the dining room table is messy again. The clothes are scattered all over the floor, again. I know it hasn’t been 24 hours when everything is nice and neat, and here it is, being strewn anew with stuff.

I can feel my blood boiling, and I hope that next time, I can just bite my tongue instead of saying angry words, which are not very effective anyway when it comes to getting my way. It seems like the louder I scream, the less my children hear me. Sometimes, I blame their messiness on my mother-in-law. He house is not dirty, but she does not pick up after herself.

Going into her house is like going into a garage sale after it is done and only unwanted things in a mess is left behind. She has nice big house with expensive things, but it looks cheap when you look at it because nothing is in its place. Nothing.

I was brought up differently. My house was always neat and orderly. My children have other plans. I just need to make them understand that being disorderly with things is not how I want to live. How can anyone be productive in a messy house like that?

I don’t know why I am so angry. I think it’s just the messy house. But is it something else? Am I just an angry person by personality?